For the week Monday September 24 to Friday September 28 we learned a lot about family theories. We first learned what a phenomenon is. We learned that phenomenon is an observable event. We also learned that a theory is an attempt to explain an phenomenon. Furthermore, we also learned that theories can help us better understand or predict a phenomenon. Theories require lots of assumptions and they help us predict. With the different Family Theories, different marriage and family councilors use these theories to help solve conflict and understand the family dynamics better. The different Family Theories that we learned is (1) Family System Theories, (2) Exchange Theories, (3) Symbolic Interaction Theory and, (4) Conflict Theory. First, the Family System Theories explains that family members play roles. We also learned that there are unspoken rules in families, which this theory explains. An example of how family members play roles is that there a sibling in the family that is the "tattle tale" or the peace maker, etc. The second is Exchange Theories. This explains that people want more than what they put into a relationship. Meaning, that people weigh out the costs and benefits when interacting with people. The third theory is Symbolic Interaction Theory. This theory means that there is symbolic interactions between people. This means that when people do a certain body language, such as giving someone a high-five that they are proud or accepting what someone has done. Symbolic Interaction theory is stating, that we have an interpretations of body language or a gesture. The Symbolic Interaction Theory also means that we have different perceptions of interactions. Often times we can misunderstand the symbolic interaction between two people. The last theory is Conflict Theory. The Conflict theory is making the assumption that some people have more power than others. Examples of conflict power can be in money, economic class, etc. Conflict theory can be viewed as competition between people. No one wins in the theory, because no one is ever happy with the outcome. People will always be competing in this conflict theory. These were some of the different theories that I learned in class that has helped me understand why people do things in marriage and in families.

For the week Monday September 17 to Friday September 21  we learned a lot about family trends. We learned that these trends have changed dramatically throughout the years. Also, it is important to know that many of these trends are correlated with each other. The first trend that we learned is people are getting married later in life. The second is birth rates have declined. The third, is that more people cohabit. We learned that around 60 to 80% of people cohabit before marriage which is very high number. That is a lot higher percentage than what used to be in years before. Further, the fourth trend is that working mother have increased. The fifth, more and more people are living alone. The sixth, Household size has decreased over years. The seventh, Premarital sex has increased. And eighth, unwed birth have increased. I thought it was very shocking learning about these trends. I had not really thought about how these trends are affecting the family and I have learned that it is important to be aware of these trends so that we can be aware how these trends can affect our own families if we are not aware of them. These were some of the things that I learned throughout this week.

For the week Monday November 12 to Friday November 16, I learned a lot about communication. One of the things that my teacher taught us that I found interesting is a diagram that he showed us. He drew it on the board and all of the different parts on this diagram had an arrow point to the next and to the next and it continued until all of the different parts made a circle back to the beginning. The first part of the diagram is (1) Thought/Feeling. When we have a thought or feeling we then use an (2) an Encode. Encode means that we use words, gestures, or body language to communicate what we are thinking. But then we use a form of (3) media to further portray what we are feeling. There are different forms of media that we use for communication. Some of the forms of media include words, tone and/or non-verbal communication. The next step in the diagram is (4) Decoding. And when we use decoding, that means that we are interpreting the medium or the forms of mediums (or "media") used by the person using the forms of media. We learned that often times we have to be careful not to decode a form a media too fast because that can cause conflict and misunderstanding. And I thought that was interesting. Furthermore, after a person decodes the form of media that someone used to express their feelings, the person decoding then has a thought or feeling and it goes back to start. And then it continues until the next person has gone through the process of encode, media, decoding and then back to thought/feeling. I thought this diagram was very useful in understanding how communication works and how communication is interrupted and how communication can affects people.

For the week Monday November 5 to Friday November 9, we learned a lot about family crisis. We learned how families respond to these different crisis, and how crisis affects the family. We learned that crisis necessitates change. Furthermore, we also learned that in a crisis, it creates stressors. We also learned about a trick to remember when we are talking about a crisis in a family and what a crisis does to a family. The little sign is ABC and X. A stands for stressor, (or it cant stand for Actual Event), B stands Resources, (or Both Resources and Responses), C stands for Perception of the stressor, (or it can stand for Cognition), and X stands for Total Experience. This ABC and X helped me understand how crisis affects a family. We learned that its not so much about the crisis itself, but we learned that its about how we respond to the crisis. And how we respond to crisis will result in the Total Experience. How we respond to the crisis will determine our outcome after the crisis. We will either grow and learn the crisis and grow stronger as a family, or we will remain about the same (meaning we didn't learn a lot but we made it out okay as a family and it didn't have a tremendous impact on the family too, but they didn't come out worse), or the last possible outcome is that we become worse. Meaning, that the crisis is very hard on a family and they didn't grow together as a family. They are more divided and they didn't learn much. The crisis had a negative impact on the family. These were some of the things that I learned about crisis and how crisis affects a family. I hope that when I face a crisis that I will learn and grow a lot from it and come out as a better person. I learned that it is not so much about the crisis, but how I respond to the crisis that makes the impact on my life. These were the things that I learned this week about crisis in a family.

For the week Monday November 19 to Friday November 23 we learned a lot about fathers and the roles that fathers play. One thing that my teacher pointed out during class is a very intriguing statistic that I think is very important for all people to know. My teacher has said that research has proven that the number one way to prevent poverty is to have a father in the home. And I think that is so interesting. We learned that some people think that fathers are only good for bringing money for the family and that is the only purpose that they serve. We have learned that fathers serve many purposes in a family that are essential, especially for their children. When I did research to write my paper on fatherhood for this class I especially learned a lot about the impact that involved fathers have on the lives' of their children. As I was doing research I came across an article titled, "The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children," and the article was found on the website from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Service and the Administration for Children and Families. It talked about how fathers have a tremendous impact on the overall well-being of their children. Furthermore, it mentioned how the connection between a father and his child is linked to the child's (1) cognitive ability, (2) educational achievement, (3) psychological well-being, (4) social behavior, and also (5) the tremendous influence that a father and mother's relationship have on the state of their children's well being. It was interesting reading this article because I learned so much. I never had any idea that a father's connection with his child could affect his child in so many regards. I learned that a father's connection with his child will influence and impact his child's life forever.

As I was reviewing my notes and the homework that I completed for the week Monday November 26 to Friday November 30, we learned a lot about parenting. One of the things that we talked about in our class discussion about parenting that I found interesting is the different styles of parenting. The three different styles of parenting include, (1) Authoritarian, (2) Permissive, and (3) Authoritive. The Authoritarian parenting style is where parents are too harsh on their children. This parenting style may cause resentment towards the parents in the hearts of the children. This parenting style may get the job done but the children obey their parents out of fear towards their parents. The children strictly obey their parents not to make their parents happy or because they want to make their parents proud, but rather, it is because they are afraid of their parents. This parenting style is not the most efficient parenting style. It is not the best approach. There are better ways to parent. The second parenting style is a Permissive approach. This parenting style is also not the best approach. The Permissive parenting style is where the children hold the reins in the parent-child relationship. The parents do not have any rules for their children. They children sort of make up their own rules in a way because the parents allow them to do whatever they want. This approach, likewise, is not the best parenting style. The last parenting style is Authorative. This parenting style is where the parents have good boundaries and rules for their children but they are not too harsh, or too permissive. In this parenting style the parents know when to be strict and when to show love towards their children. For Authorative parenting style, when the parents need to make correction with their child, or discipline their child, they show an increased amount of love after they discipline. This way, their child knows they are loved by their parents and that they care about them. The three different parenting styles were some of the things that I learned this week that I found interesting. When I become a parent one day, I want to strive to take an Authoritive parenting style. By doing so, this will provide the best parenting style to meet my future children's needs. This was one of the most important things that I learned this week that I found very interesting and very applicable, as I one day will become a parent.

For this past week, Monday December 3 to Friday December 7, we have learned a lot blended families. We learned how blended families are impacted and we compared them to families that are not blended. We learned that blended families have particular challenges compared to families to families not blended. One of the challenges that blended families face, that we talked about, is that most often times it can be very challenging for the children to have one of their parents get remarried. One thing that I learned that I thought was interesting is that it takes about 2 or more years for a just blended or remarried family to come to terms of "normalcy." Thus, the remarried parents should be aware of this and the impact it can have on their children. I thought that was very interesting. Furthermore, we also learned that when a parent has just remarried, the birth parent should handle all of the discipline. This is easier for the child and they are used to having their birth parent discipline them. For the child it is harder when the step parent disciplines in the first stages of the remarriage. It can cause conflict and complications. We learned that it is easier for the step parent to act as if they are an uncle or an aunt. I thought that was a good comparison. These were some of the things that I learned this week about blended families that I thought was really interesting.

I was not here for this past week because I was out of town, but over the past several weeks, I have learned a lot. The week before I left we talked a lot about how essential it is to have definite steps in the relationship. And I thought that was super interesting. We talked about how there needs to be, first, an actual dating period. In that dating period, a boy and girl need to go on actual dates, not just hanging out together. We talked about the 3 P's. And in order for a date to be actually considered a "date" the date needs to be (1) paired off, (2) paid for, and (3) planned. If it does not consist of these 3 things, it is not considered a date. Furthermore, the second thing that needs to be in a couple's relationship is a courtship period. During a couple's courtship period, the couple still needs to go on dates. This is where the couple is paired off exclusively, and in class I tend to think of this period as when the couple is a "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." Furthermore, this period is also a trial period. When a couple is in the "courtship" period of their relationship, this is the determining period to see if a couple will make it to the next phase, which is then engagement. In the engagement period, there needs to be an actual ring and a date. Moreover, the next phase is then marriage. One of the things that we talked about in our class is that most many couples spend more time on planning their wedding, when in reality, they should be spending more time on planning their marriage. I thought it was really interesting talking about these things in class and learning about them because I hadn't really thought how important it is to have definite steps in the relationship and when a couple does not have these definite steps in their relationship, how it can effect their entire relationship. I am really glad that I learned about this in class and that me and my husband had definite steps in our relationship, because I think that has blessed our relationship and marriage greatly.

I wrote this blog a few weeks ago but just right now I realized that I had not published it. I had just saved it. So here is my blog from I think one week ago Enjoy!. I am a bit behind on my blogs so I am going to write one about what I learned not this past week but the week before (the week of October 15-October 19). One of the things that I found really interesting that we talked about was cohabiting. Many people in today's society cohabit. I learned in my class (I think that this is the right statistic) that 80% of people cohabit. That is an incredibly high number and I was very surprised by that. I learned that some people cohabit to "test out" a relationship. But we learned in class that this is actually very wrong. and, research has proven that living with a person, or cohabiting, before marriage is actually detrimental to a couple's relationship. It is much better to get married to the person instead. And there is a lot of research to back that up. According to our text book, "Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy" by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer, research has found that (1) married couples have sex more frequently and married couples have better sex; (2) married couples have better-quality relationships than those couples who cohabit (and it is noted in the text book that quality of relationship between a married couples is especially more high-quality than couples cohabiting that have no intention of getting married); (3) violence is especially higher among those who cohabit. It is reported, (and according to the text book), that a woman is nine times more likely to be killed by a partner that she is cohabiting with, as opposed to a woman being killed by her husband; (4) people who cohabit have worse health behavior and more health problems than people who are married; (5) married couples report that they are happier, have less depression, are more committed to the relationship, and they also have a better relationship with their parents; (6) married couples have more "more stable and durable" relationships than cohabiting couples do; (7) children of cohabiting parents are five times more likely to have parents separate than parents who are married; (8) cohabiting parent families spend more money on alcohol and tobacco and less on education than do married parent families. Furthermore, there was more research that proved that couples that cohabit as a way to prepare for marriage have found that it does not lead to a more satisfying marriage. The way to go is just to marry the person you love instead of living with them first. Research in the text book has stated that those who cohabit before marriage are more likely to be unfaithful to their partner than those who do not cohabit before marriage. In addition, women who have cohabited with several partners before these women marry are twice as likely to have a divorce as opposed to women who only cohabit with their eventual husbands. These statistics are shocking. More people need to look into why marriage is a much better alternative than cohabiting. I have always had a personal and religious belief that cohabiting was wrong and that marriage is the right path to choose, but it was very interesting to find out statistical research that proved marriage is a much better alternative than cohabitation.

So, I am totally behind on writing my blog! I have totally spaced it. So I am going to write one to kind of catch up. Last week in my family relations class we have talked about some really interesting topics. One of the things that we talked about last class period was the differences between men and women. We also watched a video on this for our homework and it was fascinating to see how men and women are just born different. There are some things that are born instictinve in men and others in women, and you cannot change that. That is just the way men and women are born. For example, men have a protective kind of nature. Furthermore, women are known for having more of a cooperative nature and men, on the other hand, have more of a competitive nature to them. Another thing that we talked about is that women are more verbal than men. In addition, in the movie it also talked about how women can be aware of multiple things at a time, such having the ability to multi-task. Whereas, men have a harder time with that. Men are known for being able to hyper focus more. They have a harder time focusing on multiple things, and they just focus on one task at a time. But it was interesting, at the end of class, we talked about how all of the differences between men and women compliment each other. And men and women balance each other out. And that is why a man and a woman is needed in marriage because together, they can become one and unit. Their differences compliment each other. And that is why God has made it that way. Learning about the differences in men and women completely supported this fact, and I thought it was very interesting learning about this in class.

This week in our Family Relations class I learned a lot about research, and that was eye-opening for me. I thought it was interesting how we learned how we need to be cautious of the research that we find. We need to be cautious because a lot of research does not portray 100% accuracy because it may be bias.
Furthermore, I really enjoyed reading the the first chapter in our book, "Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy." I learned a lot of insights. One of the things that I found very insightful while reading was about the changing patterns in intimate relationships. In many ways, these changing patters are very alarming and will affect us as a nation greatly, in my opinion. Some of the changing patterns that they mentioned in the text book were (1) premartial sex is occurring more frequently among younger teenagers, (2) the amount of births to unmarried women are increasing, (3) the amount of Americans living alone is increasing, (4) cohabitation is increasing, (5) people are delaying marriage to later years of their lives, (6) birth rates are declining, (7) the average household size is declining, (8) the amount of employed mothers is increasing (especially among women who have children under six years of age) and, (9) the divorce rate is increasing. All of these changing patters will greatly affect our nation, especially in the generations to come. That is where we see the aftermath of these changing patterns if these patterns continue to rise.